Everything is finishing: my job, living away from home, and the biggie: University.
Most of my work experience has involved a few months here and there, or working with older colleagues, or been something to get enough money to complete my next adventure (Kenya, Iceland, University…) This bar job was a little different. To a point, I missed working, but I also wanted to make as much money to do something when I finished my degree (this was originally going to be buy a house – how exciting). Working for Lancaster Uni tourguiding, and later designated alcohol provider and hangover solver has been a really joy, I’ve met some awesome people, and even though I knew it had to end, I wasn’t expecting the slight hole that would be left when I no longer poured pints or prepared pizzas. To anyone and everyone who I’ve served this year’ it has been a pleasure; to all those I’ve worked with, you know who you are, thanks, it’s been memorable.
Considering how much leaving a job of a year has left me, I am sure you’ll understand how much the next bit is hitting me. Well, I say that, I’m slightly lying. I have watched my friends have that moment of realisation. I don’t know if it’s because I worked later than them, whether it just hasn’t hit me yet, or whether I am just cold-hearted, but I haven’t had that ”wow, it’s over moment” yet. Maybe it will come when I move out for the last time, and move back into my parents house for the tangible future. I don’t think I am too bad when I move back in (sorry if I am Mum) and I am extremely thankful I can just move back in, but it just doesn’t feel like home anymore. Once you’ve lived on your own, it really sucks to move back in with your parents, and their way of doing things.
With the end of University comes the end of 18 years of education. For along time, especially during some of my early months in Lancaster, I had been waiting eagerly for this freedom, but now that it has arrived, I don’t know what to do with myself. I have been in education since I was 4, so excluding my gap year (in which I worked for resits and looked forwards to uni) I have spent 18 years developing, learning, and living in a regimented world in which I felt comfortable, but also, in which I felt like I had a purpose and a place. Throughout these years, I have said so many times ‘I don’t want to do that’ or ‘I don’t want to go in today’ or ‘God, this is boring’. I hate to admit it, but whenever parents, or teachers, or any generic but legitimate adult says to you ‘One day you will look back and think they were the best days of your life, so don’t waste them” they were so right. Continue reading “The beginning of the end, or the end of the beginning?”