Welcome back to Miserable Monday! For those who don’t know, my friend Emma @ The Terror of Knowing and I are hosting #MiserablesMay, a Les Miserables readalong that is taking place throughout the month of May. We announced it last month, and I wasn’t 100% sure I thought it was a good idea to tackle such a long book that I didn’t have much interest in reading, but I am happy to report that I finished and reviewed (I mean if you can call it that) Volume I last week, and I am just about up to date with Volume II (literally just finished it about 12 mins ago!).
Now, a small disclaimer before I start: Emma is the English student and the more academically minded reviewer out of the pair of us. It’s great, she writes incredible reviews that mix knowledge and academia with humour and gifs, and is the place to go for the more in depth reviews/updates. Mine are going to be a little shorter, and probably lacking an seriousness at all, so strap in!
Things I learnt from Les Miserables: Volume II
- I think we can all safely agree that absolutely agree we did not need or want such an in depth history lesson on Waterloo, am I right?
- If I wanted to know more, I would listen to ABBA because they know what’s what and are entertaining AF.
- Turning back the story is no a storytellers right. I have rights too y’know, like reading shit that’s relevant. This battle that has been going on for 5 pages has been going on 6 pages too long.
- I feel for Napoleon, like, bro you can’t rely on the weather, everyone in England knows this. You should always carry an umbrella.
- OK, Victor, I get it, war, war, battle, bang, war, bangy bang, death, waR YOU CAN STOP NOW.
- NO, No you CANNOT go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about war and then be like OH IT’S A ENIGMA. FFS what was the point in the last 50 odd pages then.
- He Dead. Best. Line. Yet
- Oh shit, oops, my bad, I thought Thernadier was a lying little bastard when he said he’d been to war. I guess robbing the dead kinda counts as being on the battle field. Kinda makes you a soldier, sort of?
- Oh so NOW he wants to skip over the details to help the reader. TOO LATE VICTOR, TOO LATE.
- Does anyone else think that Cosette, Eponine, and Azelma are like Cinderella and the ugly sisters *whispers* except that Cosette might actually be the ugly one?*cough*
- I don’t know if I despise or respect that Thernadier looks round and just sees opportunity. Like, he could look at a compost heap and see a cash cow. How is he in so much debt?
- Monsieur “I am a ninny’ Javert. I DIE.
- Seriously though, dude, you’re a respected policeman, why you sleep creepin’?
- Does anyone else read Javert chasing after Valjean and just picture a doggo. Like I feel like Javert is a dog in a forest who has lost his favourite stick and like Valjean is a stick hiding in a pile of sticks shouting “here is your favourite stick” and Javert runs head over and knocks it into a pile and loses it again.
- Who needs a whole Book called Parenthesis? NO-ONE ASKED FOR THIS VICTOR. WE DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS. Well that is 15 minutes of my life I will never get back
- “This book is a drama” to bloody right it is, a long-ass one.
- Ol’ Victor is name dropping like a MOFO right now and I have literally no idea who anyone is. I literally couldn’t care less. Move on., Stop name dropping randoms.
- Never mind literally hiding dead bodies under the floor and explaining for ages why this is significant. Bury the bitch and move on. K Thx.
- Side note: I don’t know if Valjean is a parenting genius or a shit for using Madame Thernadier as the big bad wolf. Like it works, but she is scared as.
- “Don’t lose the card” is not a thing, it’s not going to happen Vic.
- Who’s in the coffin? You’re in the coffin. I feel like I’m reading the weirdest self help guru fiction right now.
- I mean who thought Les Miserables and Kill Bill would share visuals. ME EITHER.
- Things are looking up for Marius because Cosette survived Volume II so the volume being your focus doesn’t automatically indicate death.
So, there we have it, another week and another nonsensical ramble. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you enjoyed what you’ve read of the book. I would love to hear from you, to see how you’re doing. In all seriousness, there were bits I loved and hated this week. I could have done without Waterloo or parenthesis but I loved the sections with the Thernadiers. I guess you have to learn to live through the long bits to get to the good bits with a book this long? See you next week!
Are you taking part?
Where are you up to? What are your thoughts so far?
Don’t forget post on Instagram and Twitter using the hashtag #MiserablesMay!